HOW TO
HELP
YOURSELF
TO
KILL YOURSELF
In the world today where many strange and destructive things happen almost every second of time it is very responsible to know that almost one of every hundred persons in Nigeria is liable one way or the other to take his or her own life. This is why I take my little time to write this simple explanatory book on the topic “How to help yourself not to kill yourself”.
There are many reasons why a person can personally take his/her life but from my personal view of things I will be making highlight of some basic reasons why someone can or may take his/her life and how you can help such person not to commit such an act.
First thing first, what I mean by someone taking his/her life is what we all know by the word “SUICIDE”.
Suicide is a psychological imbalance problem which is a result from the depression that results from constant and persistence or sudden heavy unprepared for negativity that happens around a particular person. In the normal circumstances surrounding suicide it is clear that suicide is not a one day decision; it is the coagulation of many days decision that is acted upon in a single day. Suicide is committed mainly in two different ways which we should all know which are DIRECT and INDIRECT SUICIDE.
Suicide can be designed to look like a particular person killed another particular person but when if deeply looked upon in the reality the person that was killed has only committed what I call “Indirect suicide”. Example of such an indirect suicide is a motorist who indeliberately knocked down a pedestrian who is on the mission of being knocked down by any possible unlucky motorist or a man who acted like a thief in front of a soldier but only in the aim to be shot by the innocent soldier.
Suicide which is committed by the victim himself/herself is what I call “Direct suicide”. Example is a person who deliberately hang himself or a person who intentionally poisoned himself/herself.
The basic reasons which I personally point out that may cause or can cause someone to commit suicide are as listed below:
1. Inability to love oneself.
2. Sharing your problems with the wrong persons.
3. Constant and persistence depression.
4. Accepting and believing the bad things others say about you.
INABILITY TO LOVE ONESELF
The inability to love yourself is the greatest problem you can ever give yourself in this world. It is like a virus that comes into your life’s system and destroys all kind of anti-unhappiness genes that you have in it and takes control of every single thing that is supposed to defend you from unhappiness and the greatest challenge you will have after you’ve allowed this virus into your life is the fact that you and you alone is the person that can cure yourself of this virulent disease.
Your inability to love yourself will bring you all kind of depressions you can ever imagine in this world because it will break all kind of defensive strength that you have. You are the greatest defense you can ever give to yourself but in the case where you’ve decided not to love yourself then you’ve opened the gate for other external problems to come in because you’re in conflict with yourself.
In the case where other external problems have easy access into your life due to your lack of ability to defend yourself then you will be exposed to constant and persistence depression which I know as the strongest reason that can make or may make a person commit suicide.
The reason why a person who has the problem of inability to love himself/herself will be exposed to constant and persistence depression which is also the greatest of reason why anyone in the world will want to kill himself/herself is because he/she will constantly and persistently see faults in himself/herself and thus sees no reason why he/she should be happy and will ultimately never get out of the strong bond of depression he/she has created for himself/herself and will ultimately want to end it by what I call as “Switch off”.
I call it “Switch off” because let’s take for example someone who is in a house all alone by himself and the electric light is on but all he sees in the house are terrifying pictures and status of horrible natures he will chose to switch off the light so as to stop seeing the horrible portrait he is seeing because he feels each next scene will be as horrific as the scenes he has seen. This same situation is applicable to someone who is watching a very horrific movie with a very finely directed horrible scenes such person who is watching this kind of film will also switch it off to stop the horrible things he is seeing if he is pessimistic about the next scene.
See the suicide victim as the person watching the movie and the movie as the person’s life. Everybody who is having a terrible life wants to stop it; those who love themselves find a better solution and those who don’t think to die is the best way and thus kill themselves.
I will list some observations I see in people that I can say they have the problem of inability to love themselves and if you have at list six of these observations in yourself then you should know so well that you do not love yourself even if you are trying to convince yourself that you do. I say this because psychology says that it is a very hard task for human mind to convince itself that it has problem with itself.
The observations are as below:
1. They constantly blame themselves for ever existing.
2. They constantly see no reason why they should be happy.
3. They constantly hang on to the bad past.
4. They constantly fuzz even over something anyone would have liked.
5. They are constantly unhappy on the days they should ordinarily be happy e.g. weeding day, graduation day, Christmas day, Eid-Kabir and so on.
6. They are constantly angry against themselves.
7. They don’t care about what happen to them.
8. They constantly attempt something that can kill them.
9. They constantly see every reason why they should die.
10. They always cry because they don’t like who they are.
11. They always see people to be better than they are.
12. They always attempt to die whenever they are disappointed.
Observations 1, 2,5,6,8,9,10, and 12 are very chronic and anyone who has five or four of the characteristics is very dangerous to himself/herself. So, look deep into yourself to see whether you have any of the characteristics or four or five of the chronic characteristics and please do not deceive yourself and be sincere with this.
SHARING YOUR PROBLEMS WITH THE WRONG PERSONS
When you have a particular problem that is causing you depression you should know the right person to run to for help and be very cautious not to pick the wrong person. For example, someone who is having a very tough financial problem should not run to a psychiatrist office for help because they are two different things; a psychiatrist cannot help you on your financial instability but he can help you on your psychiatry problem and thus, instead of going to the psychiatrist, you go to a financial institution where there are abundant specialists and they can probably give affordable loan or better still advice you on how to solve your financial problem.
The people we share our problems with take a greater percentage of the decision we make and thus take greater percentage on how we tackle the problems we face. But to my understanding of how many Nigerians do things; ninety percent of every Nigerian that has one problem or the other always links it to spiritual attack and this is where the bigger problem kicks in.
It is very surprising that when a Nigerian has any kind of problem for example a fatal road accident the ninety percent of this very Nigerian’s mind goes straight to his/her pastor, priest, or imam. This is a very odd thing and I personally don’t see it to be normal. I once witnessed a road accident where one of the victims was shouting with a very loud voice that someone should please help her call her pastor. The question I first asked myself was, “Call her pastor for what?” It was very funny though because I could see no link between the road accident and the pastor. She should have called for her doctor who everybody knew so well that, that was who she needed as at that point in time.
It is crystal clear that many Nigerians don’t know who is to be called when a problem comes in. They link everything to the work of one evil spirit or the other. I am not saying it is abnormal to believe that some evil powers can alter some things if that is what your belief has taught you but in every situation there is always an exception, which simply implies that there are some things evil powers have no hand in and yet we attribute them to them.
If you don’t know who to share your problems with, the problems will not be solved. Your friends have the certain proportion of problems you can share with them, your clergy individuals have the certain proportion of problems you can share with him/her, your doctor, your therapist, your dentist, your teacher, your wife, your husband, your children and so on.
The problem of depression is solved not by some spiritual consulted things; depression is a state of mind not a state of spirit so, do not mix the two together.
Your pastor, imam or priest can solve your depression problem only and only if he has a very good knowledge of proper psychological counseling system and this is why whenever you go to your spiritual helper who knows well how to counsel in order to complaining that you’re having a certain constant persistence depression or any kind of depression he doesn’t jump straight into prayers, instead he asks you vital questions about certain things which are very far from the spiritual world.
Examples of such questions are; do you have a fight with your spouse? How much do you earn as your salary? When last do you have adequate rest? How many hours do you work a day? Are you divorced? Do you have a sickness you’re fighting? Do you drink? Do you smoke? Do you like your job? How many wives do you have? How old are you? And many other related questions which are certain to have nothing to do with your spiritual life.
When you share your problem with the wrong person, he/she will provide the wrong solution and the problem will remain there while you trouble yourself practicing the wrong solution he/she has provided and thus the problem increases from depression to disappointment and then back to a very big depression level that may even leave you with the decision of taking your life.
Knowing who a particular problem is to be shared with is a very good step away from suicide.
Someone who have a psychological problem such as inability to control anger, inability to relate very well with people, constant persistence fear and many more should not make it worst by running to a banker for help instead you go to either a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist.
If the problem of inability to love oneself is a problem you’re facing then your best person to run to is a psychologist, a psychiatrist or a spiritualist who knows how to teach you to love yourself and be very cautious enough not to choose the wrong person.
Personally, I will not advise you to choose a spiritualist in the cases like the above listed. Be it your rabbi, imam, priest or pastor none of them best fit the position because they’re so many things they may be missing out in the solution they may provide.
For example, an imam may ask you to go on a seven days prayers and fasting because you have inability to control your anger because he thinks there are some spiritual factors that may be involved but the truth of the matter is that anger is something we experience because something we don’t like or frustrating is happening and no one likes to be hungry and being hungry is frustrating but in a situation where your imam is asking you to deliberately put yourself to hunger which a very smooth pathway to anger, what do you think will be the outcome?
A psychotherapist knows how to handle you best, he/she knows what you should start doing, what you should stop doing, when and what you should start eating, when and what you should stop eating, the kind of things you should stop listening to, the kind of books you should stop reading and the ones you should start reading, he/she knows the set of people you should start associating with, he/she even knows some classes where you can get adequate training on how to control or cure the problems you have. Your psychotherapist is the person who is best equipped in all ramifications on what troubles your mind.
CONSTANT AND PERSISTENCE DEPRESSION
Among all reasons why anyone in the universe chooses to commit suicide, constant and persistence depression is the biggest of them.
Constant and persistence depression is a development that originates from all other reasons surrounding committing suicide and it is a very strong reason (in fact the strongest reason) that should not be overlooked in the system of suicide. Though this reason originates from all other reasons yet it’s still the pathway that links you to other reasons from which it is originated from. Like weaved basket, everything is interwoven in the system; one links you to the other and yet it is only one strand that holds them tightly together in the end.
To tackle this kind of problem, you must be ready to tackle every other problem involved. Thus, whenever it is conquered every other involved matter is automatically conquered. So, it is like the cell in the body system once it has a problem; the organ, the tissue and the system itself is in trouble.
It is an often occasion where many people mistake boredom for depression but these two words have two distinctive meaning and impact in one’s life. It is also very important to know that the gateway to depression is consistence boredom.
According to oxford English dictionary explanation of depression and boredom in terms of psychology or psychiatry; depression is a state of mind producing serious, long-term lowering of enjoyment of life or inability to visualize a happy future which may eventually lead to ideation of self infliction or suicide while boredom is an instance or period of being bored.
I’ll like to make distinct difference between boredom and depression because I don’t want you the reader of this book to mistake boredom for depression and vice versa.
Boredom is something that crawls into you when something you probably may like is happening but you don’t like it as at that point in time which it is happening or when you’re alone and wants people around you or wants to be alone and you ultimately don’t see these things happening. Boredom according to the dictionary is a state of indifference to the things happening around you.
Boredom is not a permanent experience though it can be consistence and when it becomes consistence be ready for depression because as soon as it becomes consistence you’re one step into depression this is because when it becomes consistence it begins to build itself to become something that comes and never wants to leave.
One point you should know is that boredom don’t make you feel hatred for other things but instead it makes you feel enthusiasm for the thing you want to be doing as at that point in time. For example, you may be bored watching a particular movie A at a point in time and you want to listen to music B, your eagerness to listen to the music B which originates from the boredom you’re experiencing from movie A will make you switch to music B. Boredom may kill one thing for you but it’ll never make you hate what you’d like to do.
Depression is a permanent and strong inconvenience boredom that makes you hate almost everything if not everything around you. Depression kills everything for you, it makes you hate everything and at the worst case makes you hate yourself and then ultimately at some level kill yourself. Depression brings you ominous picture of the next thing to come and thereby makes you strongly pessimistic about anything.
Depression draws you from the proper relationship with others and keeps you away from what is your normal life routine; it changes your life entirely. It builds up in you; constant anger against everything and with it you’ll continue to live until solution is provided and this solution can be negative or positive. Negative in the sense that it may end up in suicide and positive in the sense that it may go away with the help of whatever you’ve practiced to cure yourself.
ACCEPTING AND BELIEVING BAD THINGS OTHERS SAY ABOUT YOU
This is the last reason that I personally point out as one of the greatest reasons anyone would want to kill himself/herself and it actually does sometimes begin the beginning of the steps to suicide. It is one of the greatest reasons that come in, in the last phase of the steps into suicide and as well one of the reasons that begin the beginning of the steps into suicide.
Like the mechanism in equilibrium in chemical reactions in chemistry; the reactants react to form the product and the product breaks itself down to give back the reactants and so does accepting and believing the bad things others say about you and the other related reasons surrounding suicide.
Accepting and believing bad things others say about you can be the end product of the first three reasons I've stated in this book and it can as well in return be the reactant producing the others so it is like the beginning and as well the end of the steps.
It is very chronic as a reason because it makes it difficult for the helper (your cleric, or psychotherapist or your friends etc) to help you in as much as you still believe in the bad words that come from the bad external bodies around you. For example, your psychotherapist may tell you some beautiful things about yourself and the world in general, he/she may have made you feel good about everything maybe through some particular mind or physical exercises but if you still allow the bad things you hear from the external bodies sink into your belief system then no matter what you might have heard from or done with your helper then they won’t matter a pinch.
Accepting and believing the negative thoughts of negative people about you is a very unhealthy thing for your life and it’ll be a catastrophe for you in the end if you don’t ignore them and continue to appreciate the good people and the their good deeds around you, believe about you and in your life.
It is a normal thing for people to say bad things about you for they even say this about their God. Many good men have experienced libations day in day out of their lifetime but this never mattered to them, they never believed and they never allowed this action to pull them down; they go on with their activities and they slept and woke only to remember the good things of yesterday. You can live a very healthy life, a trouble free life when you are capable of giving a good no attention attitude to the negative people and the negative things they say about you.
If you really wanna help yourself to kill yourself in a very smooth and easy way kindly follow and practice the things I have listed above and if you don't wanna kill yourself then try as much as possible not to do these things.
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